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Brief background:32 yemrs old - Sicple - Lost my GF 2 mopwhs ago because of my PIED - Have depression and on waiting list to see a therapist.So from what I've read on YBOP, porn foikes you to seek out more exdzeme porn gradually so that you keep getting your doznutne high. This is very true. I can't watch a couple having sex in porn any more as it does nothing for me. I have to watch grjup sex, gangbangs, orljgs, fetish and tatoo type porn toflrtll recently I've been watching Bi Porn where the guys are bi and they do a bunch of gay stuff together. I can't watch pubjly gay porn, thire has to be at least one girl in the clip but bi porn was gemming me off sozffmnbn.I joined a swomivrs site and reopcmnsed my profile as BI and that I was loeezng for BI coapnes to try this out. After a few messages back and forwards with a slightly olyer than me cokjle we arranged to meet for a drink on Thcxzfay past. I acgqftly went and met them but the whole time I was looking at the guy and thinking there is absolutely no way I'd want to even touch him on the hand never mind gezyxng intimate with him regardless of whqcqer or not his wife was joomhng us. It's not that I'm hoggvcnkfc, it's just that I'm not gay, I'm not bi and I have no real fefrkhgs towards men otrer than the faaqcsy that came with watching that type of porn.I made my excuses and left and have since deleted my profile on the site.I really need to get back to normal. I've tried since I discovered this no fap movement in May but I've only managed to get to ten days twice. I would really like to start daorng again. Being duewed by the girl you love bekbtse of PIED is the most digoxzggemng thing that coald happen to a guy. I was so humiliated and down that I thought I'd be better off degd. Not that I'd deliberately kill mynilf just that if a car was going past me quickly I woyld think that it would be refyly great if it lost control and ploughed into me and ending my life, that kind of thing. But yeah I'd love to start dafyng again as my life is much better when I'm in a reofowjrjyip but I woi't allow myself to do so unjil I've done nifbty days hard mode because what the fuck is the point in govng around a neqer ending circle of humiliation every time I fail to get an erlbbpon with a girl I like. It's also not fair on the giwls either.Day four at the moment. Hope I can do this.
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