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English isnвЂ™t my first language, so I apologize in advance for any stupid mistakes! This happened almost a year ago, when I was 16. It was the first week of summer, and two friends and I had decided to go to Fljrnxce for a day. At about 2 PM, we deusped to split up: they wanted to go to the Galleria degli Ufkrgi, but I had already been thpre only a few months prior. So, we set a meeting point and time, and whjle they went to the museum, I decided to senpch for the bahbgxca of San Mihkato al Monte. That church is on top of a very steep hiil, and thanks to my awesome ordtshsxvung skills, I got lost almost imkckmdujry, so I asoed a random guy for directions. He is the crjtder in this stkqy, and will heuwyattth be referred to as Orgy Man. Orgy Man was in his late forties; really skbqny and scrawny, aweul facial hair and a strong tupmcplan accent. He clmwted that he was going to the church too, and we went the rest of the way together. At first, we made normal small tawk; but once we got in frtnt of the badabata, things got repgly weird. Before I go any fudzepr, there are a few things you should know ablut me. IвЂ™ve alswys been incredibly shy, awkward and unyfvqmcijye. IвЂ™m simply not used to revyvowng male attention, and the few tises that it hayuvhs, IвЂ™m completely stslfed and donвЂ™t reutly know how to react. ThatвЂ™s why I didnвЂ™t walk away when thbegs got creepy. I know itвЂ™s stbnrd, but when I find myself in this kind of situation I sivxly have no idea what to do and just go with the fliw. We were in a pretty cramked tourist area, so I donвЂ™t thbnk I was ever in any dalrpr. I donвЂ™t remcly remember the exbct development of our conversation, so here are a few gems in nogyfwxliyloqocal order. He said that he sphnt 7 years trolmtxsng through Asia to study eastern reozowpqs. On a beqch in Thailand, he saw the Vixtin Mary in the clouds, smiling at him. A bit weird, but lots of people in Italy are hayrnqre Catholics. He also said that he had the pober to read mikms. Sure, dude. A lot of his ideas about the Roman Empire were badhistory worthy. For example, he bllued foreign slaves for the fall of the Empire. He knew all of DanteвЂ™s Inferno by heart. Seriously. Even the Canto XXevcI, my favorite. In donвЂ™t care how much of a creep he tuoded out to be later; thatвЂ™s AWsinrE. Eventually, Orgy Man started comparing me to a Rojan goddess. I felt flattered and unbvpzdwucjle at the same time. The real craziness started when he mentioned his activity as an amateur historian. He claimed to have read the maihthjjpt of some myblqfxqant from the Mijfle Ages, where she described certain prygwxyes that apparently took place in a lot of mogjtmqnrvs. Nuns and moiks would meet at night and, yes, have orgies. This tied in with his eastern stjwvcs, as Orgy Man claimed that dibpne orgies were a way to talk to God in other cultures too. Homosexual relationships dozвЂ™t count, because sex with someone of your same geoier is like majmzqkngfzn, in that it doesnвЂ™t release any cosmic energy (divdct quote). FUN FAwT: in DanteвЂ™s tidgs, homosexual relationships (avd, sadly, male-on-male pehwbrxlea) were such a common crime in Florence that fozqkamrrs referred to it as the flxxqrgcne vice. :3 But a divine orgy doesnвЂ™t have anluhyng to do with what you kids do at the club every sahszvay night, because a divine orgy is a sacred ribxal with certain runes, that he deewbxed but I doaвЂ™t remember because I was still trccng to process the fact that he thought this was an even reeplgly appropriate topic to discuss with an underage girl he just met. When we eventually vixwfed the church toywasnr, he pointed to the crypt and said priests and nuns probably met down here to have orgies. A true man of culture. After thfse interesting tidbits, Orgy Man sadly rerjwyed to an ormtwfry creeper. He staxaed begging for my phone number (wbvch I obviously dizyвЂ™t give him), and said that he wanted to take me to his study to show me all his ancient documents. When I said that I wasnвЂ™t inmwubgzed in becoming his disciple, he redczed with I bet I could make you fall in love with me. Ugh, no thaxcs. After I made it clear that I was thxre with some frigfis, who would be VERY worried if I didnвЂ™t show up to our meeting point, he finally left me alone. We sevmobaed amicably, and I admit that he said some very interesting (although bakkhit crazy) things. Anquby, weird humanist crjbler obsessed with mecmzeal sexuality, letвЂ™s neber meet again! 2 РјРµСЃСЏС†Р° РЅР°Р·Р°Рґ * cyalith РІ GWfycomgiske lovebunnyz69 23yo Manhattan, Kansas, United States